In Silverton, where tigers wear rocket skates and pigs can fly, the fastest thing on Spend Street is usually Ava. On Thursday, it was a sign.

FASTER LACES. MAKES YOU FASTER.*

A sign in the shoe shop window said FASTER LACES, and then MAKES YOU FASTER, and then a star. The star at the end was very, very small. Smaller than a crumb. Smaller than the sort of crumb anybody would bend down for.

Ava: “LOUIS. LACES. THAT MAKE YOU FASTER.”
Louis: “There is a star.”
Ava: “A what?”
Louis: “A star. At the end. A little one.”

Louis is right, and this is a good habit to have on Spend Street. Say it with me.

Look for the little star.

Behind the counter, the brown owl in the purple jacket had a sign of his own. NO REFUNDS, it said, in letters about nine times the size of the star. I notice signs. Noticing signs is one of the four things I am for.

Ava: “How much are they?”
The owl: “Six coins.”
Ava: “I have six coins. I have EXACTLY six coins.”

Ava's chest went first this time, pulling her towards the glass with the rest of Ava following on behind like it had not been invited. Have you ever felt that? It turns up in different places on different people.

Louis: “What is the star for, please?”
The owl: “Ah. The star is the small print.”
Ava: “What does the small print say?”
The owl: “It says this.”

RESULTS MAY VARY. LACES DO NOT CONTAIN ANY ACTUAL SPEED.

Ava: “But that bit is TINY and the fast bit is HUGE. So the fast bit must be more true.”

I would like it on record that this is not how printing works. I would also like it on record that I have never won an argument with Ava on Spend Street, and I have tried on four separate Thursdays.

There is a star on nearly everything, once you start. One more time.

Look for the little star.

Zion: “Those are the fast ones. Everybody knows.”

Six coins on the label. Six coins on Ava's band. And up went the want, the way a want does when somebody loud agrees with it.

Laces that say, in enormous letters, that they make you faster. A star the size of a crumb that says they do not. And a shop that will not be giving anybody their coins back.

I could tell you what Ava did next. I am not going to. There are two of you sitting there. Sort it out between you.

Tap. Tap. Pause.